A look at why we have task paralysis and how to work with this part of ourselves.
Dear Stranger/Friend,
do you know why you have task paralysis? For some, it’s innate. Tasks feel hard as part of our neurodivergence, which is something we’re born with. Maybe, in your case, the task paralysis is not innate, and we have this characteristic commonly attributed to ADHD because of something that happened to us along the way. Maybe it was one of several Adverse Childhood Experiences, or ACEs that rewired your brain. It could have been language deprivation and related isolation early on. These also impact the brain, and present similarly. It turns out that not all non-neurotypical brains are considered neurodivergent, even if they have similar traits, like difficulty with emotional regulation, sensory processing and social interaction, and possibly, task paralysis. Brains that have these characteristics due to adaptation are not considered a part of neurodiversity, but as adaptively changed or less pleasantly, damaged. What are your thoughts and feelings about this? I prefer a perspective that embraces our possible not born with it adaptations as another expression of the spectrum of humanity, especially considering that more than 60% of adults have ACEs by the time we make it into adulthood. There is a term that seeks to embrace this, acquired neurodivergence, but it’s not a clinical or professional term.
I share my approaches for my experience with task paralysis, whatever the cause.
Stop Struggling
I used to struggle with self care tasks. I’d feel a dread, and try to push myself to do the thing (usually, take a shower) and usually decide not to, but feel bad about it after. Then I realized that struggling and feeling bad about it didn’t make me more likely to do a thing. The thing to do was to stop struggling, and if I felt the aversion, to go with it. Fighting with myself only increased the strength of the aversion. I still do no get self care tasks done as much as I’d like, but I no longer struggle. I do them or I don’t.
Set Certain times and days for the Task
When you don’t ask yourself to do the dreaded thing every hour of every day, but only at specific times, the aversion decreases. The thing might get done! This is why I have set days for mundane household chores. Sure, the house could always use a vacuum or a mop, but I only trouble myself with the thought on a certain day at a certain time.
Break up the Task
I find showering kind of unpleasant. It’s wet. Sometimes it’s cold. You’re kind of stuck in there and it’s a little bit boring. The scrubbing and the hair washing take forever. So, I divided them up. I have scrub showers or hair wash showers. Not both. This decreases the dread a little, and showers have increased!
Just do the First Step of a Thing
Part of task paralysis can be the overwhelm of not really grasping the steps needed to complete a task. Take a moment to figure out just the first step, and do just this. Need to pay a bill? Step one may be as simple as opening up that web page. You can log in later, but once it’s open, you’ve often tricked yourself into getting it done.
Time it
My biggest everyday task issue used to be flossing. Then, one day, I timed myself. Even though I have to thread the floss through some teeth, it still only takes me 90 seconds to floss decently. Now that I know it’s only 90 seconds, I usually pick up the floss and start counting.
If you have task aversion, feel free to share what helps you, even if it’s months or years after the publish date. Unless you dread the task of writing me, then please don’t do it. Go and relax and never trouble yourself about it again.
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